New Year, New Beginnings...

My kids were talking yesterday at the dinner table about their resolutions for the new year. Most of them had quite specific and largely unrealistic resolutions for the year ahead. One of the youngest of the brood chimed  in with, 'I'm going to do 15 push-ups EVERY time I go to the toilet'. I mean - what? Actually, the idea of attaching the new behaviour to something that we are compelled to do regularly, as part of our bodily functions, is a relatively savvy strategy. It provides us with a ready made cue for the behaviour on a regular basis. It also helps us as humans to stack new habits to ones that are already established. It becomes a less arduous process to integrate the new behaviour as a result. However, the specificity and frequency of every single time is less savvy. Resolutions like this are unlikely to last the week, far less the year. 

When it came to my turn, I could see the disappointment in their expressions, as I told them I don't set new years resolutions. Explaining that they often set us up to fail and that feeling like a failure is no way to start the new year, they remained unconvinced. It was so apparent in that moment how, more than ever, our kids are growing up in a  society where striving is the norm. Where goal setting and having a 'miracle morning' routine is the expectation. Now, don't get me wrong, I am most definitely a striver. I thrive on achievement and I am most likely modelling that to my kids in various ways. But, like everything, it has to be about a healthy balance. 

The last kid in line advised that his resolution was 'to be the best version of myself that I can be'. On the face of it, its vague and perhaps a little cliche. A message proliferated often across social media from coaches and influencers who always seem to be living the high life with very little lows. That cannot possibly be the constant reality for them. However, it is what they chose to share. Reflecting on his resolution since though, I think he may be on to something. A resolution like this offers is an opportunity to begin again in any moment. Just like in mindful meditation, when our thoughts drift, as they inevitably do, we can simply course correct and begin again. There is no failure with an intention like this. Simply a chance to notice we have strayed from the path we intended for ourself and shift direction a few degrees. 

This past year has been both wonderful and challenging. Now, more than I ever, I am being asked to course correct and get back on the path I chose for myself. The challenge is shaking off that niggling feeling like you are never quite hitting the mark. As a mother, step-mother, business woman or whatever other role we fulfil in our lives, we can only do what we can and have compassion for ourselves for finding it hard sometimes. Behind the social media posts and business achievements is real life in all its beauty and struggle. And with all that said, as last year draws to a close, I choose to begin again. And so can you.