Forgiveness and Freedom…

A few days ago, my soon to be five year old son had an accident. He was racing along on his bike when the tyre knocked a rock and he fell face first onto the concrete. I didn’t see it happen, but I could tell by the pitch of his cries as he came through […]

No regrets…

I posted a family picture yesterday, taken the year before Matty died. A former colleague and someone who had kindly reached out to me after his death, having experienced the sudden loss of her own partner years before, commented. She said, ‘people say it’s just as well we don’t know what’s ahead’ and that she […]

Grief-writing: Too much of a good thing…

I posted a grief writing prompt for the first time in quite a while yesterday. I mentioned at the time, that I hadn’t forgotten about those of you who follow me for this type of content. But I also wanted to say a little more about this. At the turn of the year, I began […]

The Power to Choose…

Has anyone else noticed it? That unique feeling of overwhelm that arrives as the calender signals the beginning of December. Let me be clear. I love Christmas. Always have. Giving gifts and spending time with family is wonderful. There is nothing better than the smell of a real tree and how pretty and captivating it […]

My grief is…

My grief is the past, Memories of our meeting, so many years ago. Our hopes and dreams that we talked of into quiet nights. All the firsts. Choosing each other and building a life. Having children and watching them grow. My grief is for a future unlived. A beach in Australia where we would have […]

Connected, secure and loved…

About three weeks after the death of my husband, my best friend gave birth to a baby girl. I say friend, but to me she is a sister. We have known each other for over thirty years. She dropped everything to be with me in the hours after he died, while heavily pregnant, and has […]

Life is the special occasion…

I recently moved in with my partner and his children. We met the same year my husband died, at a support group. Widowed and Young, or WAY for short, is a support group for people who have lost their partners while they were under the age of 50. Initially, we became friends and our children […]

‘It’s all a matter of perspective…’

When we experience a highly negative adverse event, inevitably, it changes us. The psychological research tells us that how we respond is a consequence of our individual differences; both our genes and our experiences. For some, immediately after an adverse event, their happiness and ability to cope reduces and never fully recovers to the level […]

Stored in body and mind…

I’ve been thinking this week about post traumatic stress. More often than not, this is referred to as post-traumatic stress disorder, or PTSD, when spoken about in the media. The connotations of ‘disorder’ are instrinsically negative. A cursory google reveals that the Cambridge dictionary definition has it as ‘an illness of mind or body’. Oxford […]

The pieces of your life…

Occasionally people ask me about my husbands death and what happened. Nowadays, this question takes me completely by surprise. Directly after the death, I was asked this often and therefore felt more prepared. Now you might be thinking, given that I write about his loss, that I am comfortable talking about it to others. The […]