For Auld Lang Syne and Grandad Mac…

One translation of the Scottish phrase from the Burn’s song ‘Auld Lang Syne’ is simply, ‘days gone by’. Reflecting on this year gone by, it is one that I am confident people will not be particularly sad to see out. Of course, there have been positives and joyful life events too, but it has been … Read more

The Power to Choose…

Has anyone else noticed it? That unique feeling of overwhelm that arrives as the calender signals the beginning of December. Let me be clear. I love Christmas. Always have. Giving gifts and spending time with family is wonderful. There is nothing better than the smell of a real tree and how pretty and captivating it … Read more

My grief is…

My grief is the past, Memories of our meeting, so many years ago. Our hopes and dreams that we talked of into quiet nights. All the firsts. Choosing each other and building a life. Having children and watching them grow. My grief is for a future unlived. A beach in Australia where we would have … Read more

Connected, secure and loved…

About three weeks after the death of my husband, my best friend gave birth to a baby girl. I say friend, but to me she is a sister. We have known each other for over thirty years. She dropped everything to be with me in the hours after he died, while heavily pregnant, and has … Read more

Life is the special occasion…

I recently moved in with my partner and his children. We met the same year my husband died, at a support group. Widowed and Young, or WAY for short, is a support group for people who have lost their partners while they were under the age of 50. Initially, we became friends and our children … Read more

‘It’s all a matter of perspective…’

When we experience a highly negative adverse event, inevitably, it changes us. The psychological research tells us that how we respond is a consequence of our individual differences; both our genes and our experiences. For some, immediately after an adverse event, their happiness and ability to cope reduces and never fully recovers to the level … Read more

Stored in body and mind…

I’ve been thinking this week about post traumatic stress. More often than not, this is referred to as post-traumatic stress disorder, or PTSD, when spoken about in the media. The connotations of ‘disorder’ are instrinsically negative. A cursory google reveals that the Cambridge dictionary definition has it as ‘an illness of mind or body’. Oxford … Read more

The pieces of your life…

Occasionally people ask me about my husbands death and what happened. Nowadays, this question takes me completely by surprise. Directly after the death, I was asked this often and therefore felt more prepared. Now you might be thinking, given that I write about his loss, that I am comfortable talking about it to others. The … Read more

Move on Through….

Last night I asked people whether they, or someone they knew, had experienced a traumatic loss. The response was overwhelming. I have yet to reply to all who took the time and trusted me to share their stories both privately and publicly. I want to thank you and acknowledge both your experience and the loved … Read more

Into the Blue…

This week I am on a family break. Our cottage looks out onto a long stretch of sand, nestled in a pretty bay. When I come to this place, I can literally feel my body take a breath of relief. It is as if coming here gives me permission to relax properly. It has so … Read more